Parents Self-Help Guide for the Youngins… Guide’s “Introduction” on General Overview of Contents.

1. Introduction

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This is the General Overview of Contents contained within this Guide:

1) Recommendations/Considerations for adjustments to the household/environment  supporting the Child’s/ Early Adolescent’s Healthy Upbringing, & Real Life’s Tidbit/Information flow-down to them when very young, and as they mature.  As the Preface/Summary identifies: “Importance of this Guide’s Household/Environment adjustments & Tid Bit/Info flow-down to the Youngins, as they mature, is to ward off potential MH Issues, or reduce the extent of Issues in their future which Otherwise could occur .”   

Recommended Household/Environment Adjustments, & Tidbit/Information flow-down, briefly addressed below, are expanded on in Guide’s section 1.2:

a) It is Highly Recommended to implement Faith/Faith Formation within the Household as this serves to be the Initiator for development of a Strong Foundation within the Youngins. As the Reference Book clearly addresses, One’s Foundation, Our Faith, & Our #1 Dependence (God in Essence) is the Basis of Our Positivity in light of a Strong Foundation, and conversely, would likely be the Basis of negativity if live Life un-righteously with a  weakened Foundation… Just like a tall building with a weakened Foundation, over time it will likely Topple… In Sum, as written in the Ref. Book, Section 4 is at least half the game in Life if consider Life a Game.  All That supports a Healthy Upbringing & Well-Being… So many personal Experiences… & as I have witnessed in/from Others, made this Perfectly Clear!

In case Faith Formation is not considered feasible within the household, for whatever reasons (?), I do provide Important secondary considerations as follows and as expanded in Guide’s section 1.2:

• Consider bringing God into the Life of your Child or Youngin indirectly by bringing them out into Nature, & acknowledging & conveying to them the Magnificence of all that was Provided/Created by Our Supreme Being (God). 

• Consider possible needs for adjustments in character (e.g. maybe Living Life more Righteously, and living Life with more Integrity (?)), as necessary, being the Youngin’s Parents/ Role Models)…  As Parents/Role Models, we are setting examples for the Youngins & they do mimic the Parents early on.  So I Urge you as Parents, to consider how you operate around them and the language you choose to use!… Remember, Actions are worth a thousand words here… Living examples don’t work if Live by, “do what I say, and not as I do” as that Never works! And I totally dislike the F-word and its overuse at whatever age, this day and age… It is Very Ugly in my opinion!

b) If you are a Parent, or a Parent to be, and Struggling/Suffering yourself, now it would be a Very Important time to amend Issues for yourself & for those in your family and around you ! Take it from someone who lived, barely at times, thru 21 years of PAIN while being Dad, before I really got a Handle on all I Learned & wrote of!… So many Beautiful Moments I missed in a sense since I could never Feel or View them as they Actually were…! As a Parent, Please tune into what I am saying here…! Good God, do I know what that road was all about, which almost came to a dead end for me actually…!  Work on Yourselves the Proper/Natural Way per the Ref. Book, which does provide Beautiful Permanent Results! Truly Enjoy the moments bringing up your Child/Children as we only are given one cycle thru which we get to Enjoy!

c) [[Blog post Note only: These Tidbits & Information flow-down are significantly expanded on in section 1.2, items per a) thru o). Besides 1.2 , 3) a) thru o) goes beyond what is provided below in c) here to a certain extent. The following 1.2 paragraph is Important here for you to fully comprehend whats involved with such flow-down]]:

(Ref: Section 1.2, 3) 2nd paragraph): Before providing this content, something important to mention here… As already identified, the included Tidbits/Information flow-down are  what one learns going thru the Ref. Book’s Positivity Tools/Skills Process.  For those who Suffers/Struggles, It Takes a Process to do it Right for Life & Learn these Life Adjustment Needs to amend the way one thinks and operates, based on Proven repetitive training to form new habits.  Also, it is clearly stated in the Ref. Book, what we learn is likewise Important for the average individual (emotionally)… for  Anyone really… for the Youngin with Parents Help & Guidance, & likewise for the Parents as well… Providing the included Life Adjustment Tidbits & Information provided in this section will be Positively Impactful as the Parents educate their Youngins on a consistent & repeated basis, indicative of repetitive training needs necessary to accommodate Important Life Changes for Sufferer.  As I address in the Reference Book, “…as a parent can attest to, in order to teach your children something in particular, you need to repeat an action or what you say, constantly (or consistently/repeatedly… a better way to address this), for it to be sponged into and embedded in that child’s mind, and in their subsequent behavior.”… And in this case, we are talking about Children here as Parents flow down to them the included Tidbits/Info, related information, etc. identified in this section.

c) Highly Recommend Tidbits/Information flow-down to the Youngins in Life including:… “Life is not Fair” often, …Such is Life, but Yet “Life Is Good :)”… always look for the Good in Everything…. Provide “Reality Checks” in Life Preparing the Youngins for when they leave the household, when Life becomes Real! Spoiling the Youngins which has been a general norm in more modern times raising our Youngins, does not bode well when they leave the household & attempt to fend for themselves… Address to them, Always, “Do your Best” within reason depending on their ages, of course, & provide them Positive inputs/affirmations thru their Lives, which is So Good for their Confidence… Inhibit Laziness in behavior!… & Inhibit excessive Gaming… Have them go outside & Play & expend their energy instead, or go on a hike in Nature with them…

Later in Life, as the Youngins mature, here are additional Key Tidbits/messages to flow to the Youngin which, like those mentioned above, are indicative of the Reference Book’s Positivity Tools/Skills Process we Learn if we were to go thru the Recovery Training:  “When TRY in Life, you cannot Fail”!… Remove the word Can’t from your vocabulary other than, using it in the phrase, “There is nothing I Can’t do!” … Instead of using the term “Happy” this or that 24 hrs a day, which is not the norm in Life with the normal ups and downs in Life, use the word “Peaceful” instead, for your daily/Life’s goal for demeanor… Avoid the word “Perfect” unless it pertains to what was Provided to us.  We are only human and to be human is to err & what we do is not “Perfect”! …Convey to them the Importance of being Positive vs. negative in Life!…as Positivity vs. negativity Controls Our Well-Being 100%!… Also, whenever in life, let them know of the power in a smile :), & is like taking a free natural pill to lift one’s Spirits and Well Being… As they get a bit older, wouldn’t hurt to address to them, when you think/feel Excitement vs.  Fear (i.e. if afraid of something), your body will actually have the same body symptoms (& chemistry). It is only a matter of perception, and how one perceives matters…Additionally, Preach the Importance of living life with Integrity… and develop a strong bond of Trust with them! … & one more Important thing to teach the Youngins…  Teach them to be Respectful of All People, having Good Manners, & have them use those words that used to be commonplace it seems, but is not these days…i.e.  “Thank you”, “Please”, & “Sorry” when appropriate… It is So Pleasant when I hear these Niceties from the Youngins (younger generations), or any generation!

Additionally, that Lady G addressed an excellent hint: Try to avoid saying No this , No that, No to whatever, all the time to your child vs. Educating & talking to the child/Youngin appropriately handling things with a twist as further discussed in section 1.2.

Other matters addressed include:

• Inhibit overuse of those Cell/Smart Phones, & Social Media!… Also consider computer censorship software although, unfortunately in this world we live in, they will be hearing and seeing things whether we like it or not …
• Education of the Youngins begins in the Home+, & no reason to stop there…

2) Guidance & Training Needs for the Youngin in case they Struggle/Suffer; this is fairly in-depth but add’l related information is provided in section 1.3.

If the Youngin is Struggling/Suffering, they have reached a point where they need Education/Training to deal with their stresses/negativity which have amounted over time resulting in their Issues; i.e. most likely Anxiety & Depression or possibly related negative thinking based conditions such as OCD, PTSD, Addiction (Recovery), BPD, Bipolar 2 (couldn’t imagine this Process not working to maybe a Great extent for Bipolar 1 Sufferers as well),  … & Yes ADD, ADHD issues as well.  If go down the standard paths thru the MH Professional Community, based on what I have been thru myself,  it all seemed to point to the meds for their solution/approach, which is So Wrong as meds Never get down to the Root Cause of our Issues which is Key and is what this Guide/Ref. Book focuses on.  During those times dealing 4Xs thru psych wards, subsequent out-patient care, and private sector Professionals, I never learned anything about the Proper Natural way of dealing with my PAINS as I finally LEARNED and wrote of… Never! The meds are way overprescribed & never part of the Permanent Solution which is obtained thru Educating & Training as written in this Parent’s Guide & in the Ref. Book… Specifically, getting to the Root Cause of our Issues, involves drilling down to our Individual negative thoughts and sources of our negativity which Self-Personalizes this Process for Anyone/All!  This is what the Positivity Process within the Guide/Ref. Book is All about! … It takes a Cognitive/Behavior modification approach to do it Right for Life indicative of the Intended Approach.

So as the Preface/Summary addresses… Of course if Changes to the Household (Ref: Item 1 above) are made later on in Life, in case the Youngin Struggles or not, that makes the Process much more Difficult…e.g. you have a 14 year old and they are beginning to Struggle/Suffer appreciably. Based on the norm they have been living with during those 14 years, to now having to change & swing that momentous pendulum of Life, likely Opposite to how it has been…Yeah, WOW(!), a Shocker!… Hardly easy to say the least to initiate such Changes! Needless to say, in such a case, Motivation will be Key, such that they will then have the Desire to accept & accommodate Necessary Change including in the way they think and operate via this Guide’s specified Guidance & Training. Simply put, without such Change, there can be No Change!

So Motivating your Youngin who is Struggling or Suffering is Crucial up front to initiate the process of amending matters and instituting Change! They Need to be Inspired such they will have the Desire to move forward and Accept noted Changes… i.e. for one thing, Consideration of Change in their Environment/Household to Help amend matters including, as Highly Recommended, implementing Faith/Faith Formation as addressed above in Item 1), a) and expanded in section 1.2 & 1.2.1.  Additionally addressing the Importance of implementing Mandatory Change within themselves, in the way they Think, Operate, & React ( or Under-react actually) to Everything which is what one Learns via the Guide’s/Ref. Book’s Positivity Process. But Yes, Motivating them hardly will be Easy to say the least! Actually this likely may be the biggest hurdle to get thru for them and the Parents who will be Key in Motivating them… If need assistance to Help Motivate them, contact me (RonnyLG123@gmail.com).  I will attempt to get back as soon as possible to provide a helping hand as needed.

Continuing as partially addressed in the Preface of this Guide… Again, for Youngins Struggling or Suffering who are at a young age, then they of course will need Guidance/Training thru the Process.  And my #1 Suggestion/Request would be for a Parent , or a chosen Mentor who Knows the Youngin Well , to provide for such Guidance! What is Important here for one thing, is No One would be as CARING as a Parent would & should be in such a case to Help their Youngin! And who would TRY Harder than the Parents to Help their Son or Daughter amend matters if they are Struggling/Suffering?… No One!  You think the average Therapist would provide this Support, with such Desire & Compassion?… Not a chance!… Certainly this is what I personally witnessed having gone thru numerous MH Professionals!…  I don’t remember any being Truly Caring(!), which is So Incredibly Important as a Sufferer! Otherwise, you feel they are just punching in & out on a clock, and that you are nothing but, like a table in a highly questionable book, with serious limitations & shortcoming (as I know now), other than pointing in the direction of a med or more… That’s what I witnessed & Felt… 

So Yes, having a Parent or a Mentor who is close to the Youngin would be a Huge Advantage in the Process for this Reason for one thing!  

This is not to mention, what the average Therapist has to offer as far as their  Education base which is Lacking as my objective view summed up to, per all I witnessed thru my MH Professional escapades … Besides, they Never address and ask questions about One’s Faith and Foundation! … How could that not be a Significant Fiber within us which does form one’s Foundation for the makings of a Positive Well-Being if Live Life Righteously…Or on the flip side, causing an Individual to Suffer/Struggle due to a weakened Foundation?!!… So Strange not acknowledging this!! I always thought after learning all have learned, if they were Educated as I have been over the years, then they’d be all lying, misinforming patients of what it Really Takes to turn matters around in their Lives; i.e. from a psychological perspective  to begin with, besides Spiritual matters.  So obviously, the Education system is the culprit; It Has To Be!… And why would they Change things with all the $s being made?!  Enough said…The related Book text in Ref. Book’s section 1.0 (Introduction), addressing my objective view is copied in this blog post: https://riseandshineanxietydepression.net/2019/09/05

Yeah, I do Understand as Parents, for the Youngins to even Listen to them at times, well, that can be Difficult, & hence in the case the Parent/Youngin relation is suspect, it will not be easy for the Parents to Work with them!…Well, now would be a Great Idea to shore up that relationship with them as needed…. Anyway, in case you really can’t get thru to your Youngin no matter what, a selected Mentor who Knows and Cares for your Youngin, would be Best to support Guidance needs.

To Prepare for this Guidance role, it is Strongly Suggested for the Parent, or the chosen Mentor,  to Read  thru this Guide twice, to ensure you have not missed anything Important, especially for sections/items, 1. Item 2), 1.2 Item 1), 1.2.1, 1.3, 3, 5, & 6.  Also doing a onetime Read thru the Reference Book is suggested,  for Education/Familiarization & again Preparation … This is in support of  proper Guidance needs & to field questions the Youngins will likely pose; otherwise, this will give you a Good feel where to look into the Book or Guide for an answer or two, or… When you get to the actual process of Guidance of the Youngin, you will be going thru specified sections of the Positivity Process repetitively with the Youngin, when you will be able to more thoroughly understand matters yourself in Process.  But initial Reads for Familiarization is Important!  Similar to what I say about the Ref. Book Total Process regarding the Importance of Process Details, Details within this Parent’s Guide are Likewise Important!

Since the Reference Book is written Clearly in Layman’s terms, & is a complete Step by Step approach with full Instruction set and necessary Details to Self-Help a Sufferer, this Definitely does provide an Excellent Guide to Self-Help a Youngin with Proper Guidance Adjustments thru the steps. Contrary to adults or older adolescents who have the ability to Read/Write and Work the process themselves, which is necessary for a Sufferer to Self-Help themselves, younger aged Youngins who may be struggling would not likely have the Reading & Writing skills necessary to Work the Process on their own as instructed… Hence, Guidance would boil down to the Parent or chosen Mentor to do some or all of the Reading to the Youngin thru the repetitive training process.  When it comes to the Process’s Writing skills/tools needs, the Parent or Mentor would do whatever writing is necessary on behalf of the Youngin, based on what the Youngin is telling the Parent/Mentor, communicating matters.  When the Youngin has the ability to Work matters on their own, they will then be prepared to start doing this on their own… When Youngins are properly Motivated with Desire to learn, they can be sponges of Information provided to them.  As such, they would likely learn quicker than what I had in mind when formulating the adjustments… But, no harm no foul here as excessive Training, if involved, is not a problem…  Later on in Life, they can then Read for themselves to improve/master the Tools & Skills per the Process when they are able to do the Work on their own.  

The extent of Guidance all depends on the mental maturity of the Youngin Struggling/Suffering & on what they can or cannot do on their own… If they seem capable at all, let them Try to do whatever they can… Of course the Process Effectiveness is reduced when comparing an Individual being Guided thru the Process Reading and Writing for the Struggling Youngin vs. an Individual doing it on their own!  Therfore,  it is Important to have the Youngin Try to do what they can on their own if Possible, to Increase the Effectiveness of the Training for them, including the Writing skills addressed in sections 5 & 6 . 

If the Youngins happen to have the capability to do the Reading and Writing on their own, as you will read in section 5 & 6, it is suggested to stick to the Game plan as addressed within this Guide, with the exception, the maximum iteration count for any of the repetitive training of respective subsections or combination of subsections would be reduced to the Ref. Book’s standard.  This applies to section 5 & 6 Training defined in this Guide.  If the Youngin were to just work to what is provided in the Ref. Book vs. what is identified in this Guide, no harm, no foul by any means!

In case Pure Guidance is necessary,  which was considered per the adjustments made, the number of  iterations of the repetitive training steps in some cases for  specified sections defined within this Guide were increased … Essentially these adjustments made are a judgment call and once  the Guidance Process is initiated, based on the discretion of  the Parent or Mentor, as they communicate with the Youngin, that would be a deciding factor to discern what’s Best…  Thus, the Parent or Mentor would have to feel the matter out as best they can if they care to adjust some of the suggested # of repetitive training needs (ONLY).  However, an Important rule of thumb here, is in case of more Training than necessary, that would not pose any problems at all, vs. being Impatient in the Process rushing thru matters too quickly!… As the Reference Book says and as I can attest to, You Don’t Want To Be Impatient, as I paid dearly for that Initial mistake I made running thru the Process in like record time… That is to be AVOIDED!

As for the Writing needs in the Guidance Process, when it comes to “Journaling” Id’d in  sections 5 & 6, such Writing for the Youngin on their behalf while communicating matters would not really be feasible… As a result, in Guide’s section 5, the Ref. Book’s “Journaling” (Training) was redefined, focusing on the basis of the Most Important Writing Skills per the Positivity Process… i.e. the basis of negative to Positive conversions which is defined in Guide’s section 5… The Journaling adjustment & approach is a precursor to those negative to Positive conversions, focusing on the definitions of negative & Positive thoughts clearly defined within the Ref. Book & this Guide. This is the most notable Writing adjustment made… It is Important to note, in No Way Jump forward or around in this Process when Guiding the Youngins here… This is a Step by Step Process which took 16 yrs. for the Lady X-Sufferer & her selected/Trusted Pro(s) to Optimize. You Do Not Want to mess around with the order of Training & Conditioning Needs!  Aside from this Journaling adjustment, the other Writing exercises by the Guide on behalf of the Youngin, is based on communicating matters with them, with this being  the differences as explained in section 5 & 6….  Continuing:

Parents, Please Understand, the Reference Book’s Instruction set is Specific, Detailed & Complete, requiring no adlib needs, nor creative thinking, nor extrapolation of matters in the Process, & no Improvisation at all in Guiding the Youngin via this Book’s Process, with the adjustment made as specified in this Guide.  Like I identified, if any adjustments would be involved, it only has to to do with possible adjustments to the # of the repetitive iterations in the Guidance/Training Process based on how well the Youngin is Sponging in the material, which the Parents or Mentor has the Best bead on

… And Remember, as Parent or Mentor, Just do the Best you can… Give it your Best shot…you can’t go wrong… Besides, you don’t have to be Perfect which is never a human quality anyway… With the stated Preparation, along with the Guide’s adjustments & Reference Book in hand you have everything you need really… If you have any questions whatsoever, prior to or while you are Guiding the Youngin thru this, Please contact me at RonnyLG123@gmail.com & I will promptly get back as quickly as I can to give you a helping hand! And if you need support in Motivating the Youngin, I’m an Excellent Cheerleader as I am the Book in essence :)!

This Guidance is geared for those who Struggle or Suffer, but also as I say in the Book, this is also geared for those who are more average emotionally, but who may be Struggling some… In cases where you sense your Youngin is too shy, or showing glimpses of the lack of confidence for their age group, or seems to be a relatively unhappy child, or has difficulty meeting friends or has very few or maybe no friends, or is being Bullied(!)… These early signs could likely be a heads-up & a pre-cursor for future MH Issues.  So nipping it in the bud at an early age, could be Extremely Beneficial!  As such, it is Suggested to Guide them as well thru this Process!

It is a Clear Choice for me, which direction to take in Helping the Youngins deal with their Issues if Suffer/Struggle… Mom or Dad or Mentor with this Guide & Reference Book in hand  & Prepared, or the  Mental Health Professional rout… As I say throughout this Guide, you the Parent(s) or chosen Mentor who is Close or relatively Close to the Youngin, Knowing you are CARING,& that you would Try your Best giving it your Best Shot, you can’t go wrong! You would be a world ahead vs. going down the typical Professional rout from what I Experienced… That blog post (https://riseandshineanxietydepression.net/2019/09/05) again identifies why I say this based on the Substance of this Guide’s/Ref. Book’s Approach, by comparison, besides these Important qualities I just mentioned!…Need I say more :)? Not even close…!

Realize what the mental health stats and trends are telling us… stats of the matter have been progressively getting worse as the years go on by, besides the additional Impacts to People’s mental health Issues with the onset of COVID-19 rather recently!  MH matters have been at epidemic levels even before that COVID outbreak… Long ago when I was on the last bits of meds I was weaning off for the final time, back in 2010, the stats of the matter were that 70% of all meds prescribed was for Anxiety & Depression Issues or related… That Is Appalling! Couldn’t imagine those stats not being worse in 2020, maybe by a long shot?… What I say about People and dealings with MH in Life, we often do the same thing and expect different results… The term for that definition is, Sorry, but is Insanity… And Yeah, Ditto that in what typically has been going on with the MH Community & Care over the years… as they cater to meds/quick temporary fixes (at best) solutions, aiming at the Symptoms of our Issues, which caters to the general population, rather than dealing with the Root Cause of our Issues which this Guide and Ref. Book is All About!  Yeah, it takes some Work but the End Result… So FREEING & Permanent though when doing It the Right Way!… NOTHING BETTER, No Doubts :)!!  But Can’t blame the MH Community entirely here as their approaches do cater to the general population who do prefer potential quick fixes vs. Reading and Working on Selves the appropriate way, SADLY… If foresight was as strong and accurate as hindsight of what the Positive Impacts would be when Work this, it would be a No Brainer for Everyone!

In section 1.3, I address the Suggested rout to take, if the Parents decide to go with the Mental Health Professionals instead for Therapy…  I also address Issues concerning Medication and True Needs for, in case the Youngin is Significantly Struggling or Suffering just to make sure possible Critical Issues are understood.

Related Guidance Recommendations/Needs which will be expanded, as needed, within section 1.3, are as follows:

a) Again, In the case the Youngin Struggles or Suffers, Motivating the Youngin such that they have the Desire to accommodate as Needed Changes is really the First step. Can’t make anyone Change unless they are Motivated and willing to accept Needed Changes in Household & within, in the way they Think and Operate as it amounts to.

b) Encourage Acceptance of Faith Formation, but the bigger obstacle would be for the Parents in such an endeavor. Otherwise if not feasible to implement within the Family, Important secondary Recommendation/Considerations are provided.

c) Tidbits/Information flow-down identified will be part of the Process which will be Worked as the Youngin is Guided thru the various steps in the Positivity Process of Recovery & Improvement. Giving the Youngin a heads-up and talking to them about may be a Good Idea…

d) Pointers to section 3, 4 (or related Guide sections 1.2, 1.2.1), 5, & 6 sections in Reference Book with necessary adjustments for Guidance & Training of the Youngins; this information is provided within these same respective sections or subsection #s in this Guide.  

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