1.2. My Credentials and Why and How can I, and this Book Really Help You.
If you want to continue with just the meat of the subject matter of this Book, in case you are not interested in this part of this Book associated with its title, then please, just jump ahead to section 1.3 for continuation. This section involves some necessary promotional information, or material to help validate the Integrity of everything, really, in all that is being provided to you. Most of you don’t know me, so I figured yeah, there are a lot of books, etc. out there on how to fix A & D, so I had to be concise about this to gain your Trust. Again, this material is the only section in this Book that I would call optional. On the Positive side of the matter, this section likely will also provide a dose of endorphin enriched laughs and emotions :); of course this is the section of the Book where I had the luxury to do this so I thought I might as well have a little fun with it, although, it just turned out that way naturally. Various snapshots and snippets in Life addressing related matters are provided below. But please understand, if anyone knows the seriousness of A & D matters, then I certainly would so I am not making light of serious matters. But a laugh here or there in the process to get better and recover, is a Good & Positive reprieve for the A & D sufferer and is that good old fashioned Natural Pill that is always worthwhile to take.
So in this section I will be providing information answering the questions:
1) Am I honest?– Only included below in post.
2) What is the Validity and Accuracy of the included material? — Not included/Expanded below in post.
3) What are my Credentials and how can I help someone?– Not included/Expanded below in post.
4) What About other books out there, and other advertised quick fixes, and solutions to solve A & D? — Not included/Expanded below in post.
Just a bit of my background up front to let you know how I fell out of the crib :).
I was brought into this world through my Beautiful Mom and Dad who were simply Amazing parents. My Dad built our beautiful, rather large red brick home on his own, while he had a full time job as an Accountant. He was the true definition of a Responsible individual, and Provider as a Family man. I mean he learned from books how to build our house on his own while maintaining that full time job. And he did everything except for having a contractor dig out the basement area; he set/laid all the bricks and everything else starting off in the contractor dug hole and on up. With the help of his brothers, my Uncles, he built the whole bloody thing; he was sooo crafty ++, and I always thought he would have made an Amazing Engineer.
As for My Mom, to this day she is the Most Beautiful Human Being I have ever met. She was so pure, humble, and so special with such a calm demeanor, with a French accent she carried through her whole Life. And could she ever cook and bake. OMG! Those Apple Pies – give me a cigarette :) !!!
Yeah, if you ever saw the show “Leave it to Beaver”, I’d be the Beave, my older brother Wally (although his name is not Wally), but I also had an older Sis who I will refer to as Sis; a Sis is not a character that existed in the original Leave it to Beaver show. So, more fittingly I guess I would call our show “Leave it to Beaver II”, since besides Sis being an additional character, this Beave may have gone a little wild in his time, but not really that wild by today’s standards I don’t think. So why did I go South with the A & D thing with an upbringing like this (?); that question I do get from some. Quite simply, it would be the gene pool theory, and I’d be the Apple from the Tree (my Dad). Note that Wikipedia addresses Mixed Anxiety and Depression causes as: “….scientists have come to multiple conclusions about the cause. This disorder is caused by a combination of biological, psychological, and environmental factors. These factors include imbalances to neurotransmitters in the brain, traumas, stresses, and an unstable home environment.” Hence, I know I received that gene from my Dad, although at the time no one could ever have sensed that about him especially because he was so Amazing. But now when I look back, based on what I know now, it is rather obvious. Mom was there to protect him in a sense, in “his Castle” I call it, behind a moat. He became somewhat unsettled when we had multiple people over to the house per the family parties we had (the glassiness in his eyes I remember now). Also, not quite as obvious, when we were going on vacation a100 miles away, a trip that was handled like we were traveling cross-country :); the extent of preparation may have been an indicator. I think my Dad prepared for every what-if possible considering all he packed under the canvas of the boat we brought up for a two week trip. Besides this he would often go back home to mow the grass or whatever on top of that. But all became obvious, witnessing my Dad’s reaction due the loss of my Mom in 2002.
My Mom passed away the morning after Thanksgiving Day in 2002. This was after my Son talked to her and then played the song “Stairway to Heaven” (her present home, Fittingly!) on his guitar for her, before ending the call on Thanksgiving Day :(. Yes my Dad went from the most independent person you could possibly imagine or meet, to the most dependent soul someone could ever get to which he never recovered from for the rest of his Life :(. It was the most difficult time for the next 20 months knowing he was 3000 miles away but there is no way anyone would take him out of his Castle. So we had a service help out but how interesting was that since he was thinking, knowing, and stating how strangers are in my House (!!!???), as we would converse on the phone, Painfully! Some say he had Alzheimer’s which he may have had a bit of, but I know it was mainly Deep Depression and he did not want to take anything for that. One time I visited him and he pointed out a Note he had written on the front of an envelope, to my Mom, that he situated by her ashes in the Urn sitting on top of our wood burning stove in the Living room area. It said something to the effect: To the Most Beautiful Women and Wife Ever …. I Love You and I Miss You Forever… He said he thought he was nuts writing that, and what I told him, with tears a flowing, Dad, that is one of the most Sane things you have ever done :(, :). He passed away 20 months after my Mom’s death :(.
After my Mom had passed, the following summer on my way up to my favorite Vacation place/Lake that my Beautiful parents introduced us to when I was probably like 10 years old, I took some of her Ashes with me (“a piece of her Heart”). When I made my 1st morning swim that year, I took the ashes and released them as I was swimming along, and that day I took the longest swim I ever did at the Lake. The Emotions and Energy I felt during that swim, some momentary sadness which was then completely overshadowed by the Positives she left me in Life was extremely Powerful which made for a relatively simple, approximately 2 mile swim. This was almost exactly 1 year after I started Lucinda’s program. I thought, without those tools, I would have probably been Very Depressed instead to say the least, if I would have been around at all…; Thank God and Angel Lucinda for coming through!
After my Dad passed away, when I was at the House for the last time after his death, I had to bring Mom’s and Dad’s Urns to the local cemetery. Before I did that, something I was driven to do, I took some ashes from both Urns, I mixed them together, and went in the back yard of my Home, Castle, and sprinkled the ashes about, including in Her Garden. The last portion I was at the back lip of the yard looking over the local Lake… it had been a very warm and muggy day and the air was very stagnant with no breeze all day and I clearly remember that… I Swear, when I threw the Ashes up and forward in the direction of the Lake, there was a Gust of wind that came up and blew the ashes back towards the House/Castle. I had heard of stories of Magical/Blessed moments like that happening, and at that Moment I certainly Felt and Sensed it myself :(, :) !
Yes, I did have two of the Best Parents ever :) !!!
Anyway, considering what is written below, Please understand it is always important to judge someone on the basis of how they are doing today vs. how they did or were doing yesterday and prior days. In my case yesterday was hardly crazy at all, I would think from today’s standards, but I need to identify such matters, to show you that I am that Honest to a Fault type as previously indicated, etc. From what is written, I think you will be able to draw the conclusion that I can be Trusted including the material I am writing about.
1) So, Am I honest ?:
I had an early indication in my Life, that really made it clear, doing something really wrong or dishonest was truly not within me. When I was like 8ish or 9ish, in I think 3rd grade, classmates at school were saying how cool it was to take something free from a store, like candy… Well, it sounded like a good idea at the time but not sure. So what I did, I walked, a mile away to the local IGA store. I am trying to remember if I had cohorts along with me to carry out this crime or not :), but I think I went with at least one friend, my best friend from almost child birth it seemed – Brian; we did everything together, from that age through till graduation from college pretty much. I guess we were known by some as Frick and Frack :); just now I realize looking on Google they were real characters i.e. two Swiss skaters who came to the U.S. in 1937 and joined the original Ice Follies show as comedy ice skaters :) – well we were not Swiss, nor could we skate then but sounds good to me :) …. Little tangent here: unfortunately, Brian passed away working as an Intern Dentist up in Alaska, as he was being transported in a small plane that crashed on his way to an Eskimo village in bad weather; That hurt Real Bad since he was my very Best friend Ever; he was Special and Smart! :( …. Continuing, so I went into IGA and I heisted the large size 10 cent packet of Sweet Tarts …. it was a golden package with rainbow/sweet tart colored lettering, and I was thinking Gold – Eureka!…. We then fled the scene of that crime :). When I got home and I was going to reap the benefits of my fortune, I began to feel So Guilty, and I just could not open up that package and pour it down which I was going to do. So, what do you think I did? I pretty much, immediately, walked back down to the store and I turned myself in, Seriously! I went up to a worker lady and Mr. Hennigan, owner of the store, was standing near-by/off to the side if I remember right; hey I was probably cross-eyed by then :) and my Parents knew him which was not surprising since Liverpool, N.Y., where I grew up, was a pretty small suburban town of Syracuse and it seemed everyone knew everyone somewhat; at least in our little world. Well, I don’t remember if I was crying or anything but I know I said something to effect, Miss, I did something real bad, holding the bag of Sweet Tarts up toward her with both hands, like in prayer or something :), .. …I took this, and I am So Sorry, I am So Sorry…. she responded with a big smile actually, maybe laughing (?) and said, thanks honey for being honest and bringing that back, or something like that. It was a blur and again, maybe I was a bit cross-eyed :). Well, my first job in Life I had was at IGA and fortunately I was not condemned for my crime :). Well, needless to say, I had honesty engraved in me at an early age!
When I was 14 years old in early summer after my freshman year in high school, I was cat and dog sitting for a neighbor (besides mowing their yard weekly). Well, this was at a time when my friends and I were preparing for the International Regatta which was a yearly collegiate boat/shell crew race on the Onondoga Lake, right below our house which we were beginning to know it to be the local party of the year. And at that age we were gathering liquor any way we could. Well, for that event, I did venture up into the neighbor’s liquor cabinet once and they did have lots of supplies and I dabbled in some to save for later. So, what little I took out of the individual bottles, I replenished with water. I figured they would never know or find out and no harm done. But if I did get caught, that would be nothing vs. a previous cat and dog sitter they had; a common neighbor up the road. Apparently, if I remember right, he was firing their 22 cal rifle in their back yard at the time. So what I was doing is nothing I thought, and by comparison, I’d be an Angel. My Bad really though !!! Anyway, that year at the Regatta, I paid the price! I drank a fair amount of what was in my supply before I ventured down to the lake to watch the races; yeah right watch the races :). I remember to start off this long and exciting day at the Lake, I thought I would start drinking burgundy poured in beer bottles. I think I had (3) of them, and then I was planning on — BAM, out cold, rolling from side to side in the grass, totally out of it ++++. Did I see one boat all day? – NO :). Getting sick left and right…. Late in the day, my Bro came down looking for me at a time I was kind of recovering. I walked up with him back to the house. When I noticed the time, I was thinking, hey instead of going to church the next morning, I’ll go to the 7:00 PM mass (I think that was the time). So I drove my bike down and went in church, without any preparation really. I was coming to my senses then and I did realize before long as I was walking in the church down/up the main isle or sitting in the pew, I was drawing a lot of attention for some reason — hmmm. Well, afterwards it was clear when I really looked in the mirror – Good God !; I realized, I definitely paid the price reminiscing about the day, and what I did. Thereafter, I received some serious wrath from Mom when she found out about the church thing mainly (again, everyone seemed to know everyone else in town).
One time after that when I was 16, a junior in high school, I did something very wrong, and stole a package of Borkum Riff pipe tobacco. This came after scoring an underground used tobacco Pipe and a used silver, red lettered, lighter from Brian ….clearly remember it had a “Young and Franklin” insignia on the front with an address I think so it was obviously a high quality lighter :)… Brian had all the connections since he was going to the public school system. I was jealous at first. I was in a catholic high school at that time called “Christian Brothers Academy” where I had to wear a suit coat and tie pretty much every day (through 4 years). Sounds strict and you would be thinking back then that everyone was completely straight laced and good to the bone. Well, not really, because, when they were getting really strict in the public school system, when I was like a Junior, we were still considered that trustworthy group of students, so we were getting away with an awful lot, e.g. smoking pot and drinking beer before typing class in the back woods, etc. :); Seriously :). I remember the first class I was in after doing this, one of the typewriters was actually malfunctioning and smoking and I thought what :)?
Well back to the story of the stolen Borkum Riff tobacco, I realized that it would not be wise to turn myself in, no doubt, nor sneak it back in with like (2) pipes full of tobacco missing, which I had smoked, since, I was thinking, if someone bought it minus (2) pipe fulls, well that would just not be right… But did I ever feel guilty about that whole incident for a long time, and I made a commitment to God I would/could never steal anything ever again which I never did thereafter, unless you consider taking a pen from work or something to be in that category :).
The only other time I took something which was not even stealing, was that I took the head of a putter that had broken off from its shaft from the garbage actually (or heading to the garbage), in the stockroom where I worked for a warehouse type store (think it was called “Century House”, in Liverpool, NY). Well, shortly after that they gave all the employees a lie detector test. Only I could feel guilty about taking the putter head, and probably as the detector’s needle was going haywire, I confessed the fact I took the putter head but explained everything. Obviously though, they were thinking, that cannot be the only thing he has taken, because of the results of the test. This was a real good indicator that significant levels of Anxiety and Depression were in my future. I was promptly laid off. I was rather recently reading a book about the Life of Walter Cronkite who was renowned for his Honesty, and Trustworthiness as a News Reporter amongst other Positive things. However, he was quoted as saying, if he ever was given a lie detector test and if he was asked if he killed, Hitler, and said No, he would have failed the test miserably :); ditto me I thought, No Doubt :). Hmm, wonder if Walter had trouble with Anxiety and Depression? Before heading out to CA. to begin my job at Douglas Aircraft, I was given a Blood Pressure test, and I was so paranoid what the readings would be and BAM for unknown reasons at the time, they prescribed me Valium. Hence another good indicator I was heading for trouble. It was just a matter of time!
As far as lies in Life that I created, that I had to hold onto for some time: Per the first three cases below, they were intended to spike my image as a Cool Teen in the 18 – 19 year old range; I was really insecure for whatever reason at the time (which is very clear to me now). The truths of these lying matters in writing are:
a) I never dated nor have been with an Afro American girl; yep, I was saying that :)…Nonetheless, I was always Color blind in Life…
b) I was not caught by my Mom in bed in my room when she brought up a basket of my clean cloths, where I was de-clothed and entangled with a girl in an interesting position, such that I looked directly at my Mom’s face and saw her expression as she walked through the door —Wow, when I write this down :).
c) I did not have sex during the high school years; going to an all-male high school (Christian Brothers Academy) certainly did not help those matters out. First time was when I was at a SU (Syracuse University) party, and met and slept with some gal claiming she was a roadie for some rather popular band; drawing a blank on the band’s name.
d) This is an extension of the truth when I was hitchhiking around the country with my buddy JW in 1976 after, ditching my dead car in Brownsville, Texas, which did happen: As I was combing a cow field for those funny mushrooms:), even though I had a brush with a huge Texas Steer that was quickly walking in my direction, at which time I simply slid through to the safe side of a barbed wire fence, the bull did not charge at me with like smoke coming out of the nose or anything. I did not actually say that but I was painting that picture each time I was telling the story :). Nor, did I have to dive to my safety over the fence to avoid him and death. And as I write this, I am thinking twice about and wondering if I even had a Bull walking toward me, or was it a cow, or ? Goes to show how a lie can translate and cloud ones thoughts and memory of what really went on. I guess the next stage of lies if done on a continuous basis would be a state of denial; a google search on this identified this guess to be true.
e) I stole a little pot from my brother who had his stash in his safe. I had to pick the lock and everything. It was 1, 10 – tough lock to pick :). I’ve fessed up in the meantime.
f) And yeah, when it came to my Security interview with Northrop Grumman in 9/84, I indicated I never did anything and was clean as a whistle. Fortunately, they were not probing me with a lie detector, or else my career and where I worked for the next like 33 years would have been quite different. Well actually at that time, I was clean and I remained that way till 8/88 when I broke down and had a joint with my brother as we took my Dad’s boat around the Lake in upstate NY (my favorite place on Earth to this day), with his X wife and mine, …. hit a rock which to this day I could never find again, seriously??– must have been a heck of a joint :) …. upon returning to the dock, my older brother bolted and then my Dad came out to the end of the dock to inspect the boat and immediately looked down and noticed the damage done to the prop and motor; I guess Bro’s escape attempt did not work or was a red flag :). But my initial reaction was I could not believe my Dad could “Shine” like that…. where we hit rock was not even close to the dock, nor within sight of the dock — Wow :). I just said to him, well I wasn’t driving so … :). Bro and I at the time were like 36 and 32 years old respectively, but with the pot consumption that day, and at that moment, we felt like we were 10 again, maybe :).
This Security clearance lie was the worst of them all, because I had to carry this lie with me throughout my whole career, always hoping I would never have to face a lie detector test; if that happened that would have drastically changed everything. What bothered me about the whole thing is when I met Air Bearing Manager BS, who I really got along with, since he was a bit of a wild hair also. He told me when he went through his Security interrogation, he told the complete truth including the fact he took some of those Timothy Leary journeys as well. He was cleared because he was clean well before his security review day and forward in time, and Security understood he was telling the truth. After hearing this, I really wished I would have been completely honest myself ; Dag nab it I thought! Again, the lesson being is, Honesty is the Only Policy. It would have been fine back then, since they had to hire a bunch of people for the B2 bomber contract and they did not care so much about your past as I believe they do now (?), unless serious matters were involved.
But yeah, I was a bit of a clean cut Hippie (or maybe a wanna be Hippie) – lots of the Herb… brandishing occasional Fro(s)… summer look, short beat up jean shorts, bare foot, no shirt … (3) Timothy Leary adventures with bud Brian …. one time skiing which was Way Too Good since I was a Skier, one time at Buffalo State, Brian’s college where we took a Magical Mystery tour with the Beatles and a Journey to the Center of the Earth via Rick Wakeman, and when we got there we hung out for over a ½ hour (actually), if I remember right, at the center via the last track on the LP :) , and the other partying at Brian’s, as lil Sis attempted to catch up to our buzz to no avail (in meantime told her why)… hitched around the country meeting Cool people after initially starting off in my 69 Mustang …. Almost busted first night in Pikesville, Maryland at dusk… 3 -5 Police cars on the spot …caught syphoning gas with open bottle of Jim Beam or JD (?) in open and upright position in back seat with pot spewed everywhere next to the bag also on the back seat…. They actually ended up saying get the hey out of town and if we ever see you here again…. They did not even throw away our supplies in the car, except the pump, and since we were more stoked about that than freaked out, we kept the party going (we must have left the Pikesville MD police in a numbing state or something (?)… had Peyote Buttons while swimming up then down, or down then up the American River in Colfax, CA in the raw…. ,(1) week at Lake Travis in Austin, Texas stayed at the nude beach local for about week or 5 days, and all that went along with that (e.g. guy with guitar singing Margarita Ville and only missed a note when, this naked Girl….) …spent a day or (2) at Blacks Beach , CA, the local nude beach local… of course de-clothed immediately and was having breakfast cereal on lap with table cloth in place (my towel fortunately) … called over two gorgeous nude tanned girls 18 ish + (10s I thought/knew) – and there they were talking to us like no biggee – although I fortunately was wearing the tablecloth ….Sorry…. :). Yeah, I guess I was always a Hippie at heart (at least)…
g) Oh, and then the (2) pre-marriage lies that I got myself into, and each time was caught red handed by the wife to be (my X now), almost as soon as the related events occurred….. went to a strip bar “Fritz’s” in Long Beach after a softball game, and that is the only time we did that as a team, and truly the only time I have been to a strip club in CA.,… we were gathering notes on possible entertainers at upcoming bachelor party for a good friend Rog (not me taking the notes though) …of course told Da Wife To Be (DWTB) that we just went to the place we always go to after the games, “Thirsty Isle”… lo and behold, she came out to meet us which was the only time she made that drive to Long Beach to meet us, so I figured what are the chances …. and the bar owner blew us in…. “no you didn’t …@#%$…” ( :), I can smile now), and if I remember right, I think I took a diamond in the forehead or something similar (?), or that would have been less painful; that was a bit of a blur — call this you dummy #1 lie with DWTB. Then the bachelor party happened and we made a clause that we were to tell all, that we did not have strippers but just had those typical movies (i.e. what happens at the Bachelor Party stays at the Bachelor Party) … that is the story I told DWTB…. guess what …. the one getting married, good ole Rog, could not hold in the secret and it all came out …. at our next softball game, cat is out of bag with tons of pictures taken and flying around the bleachers compliments of my other friend MG, and the pictures were equipped with the main Female Entertainer (looked like a librarian to begin with), and her Duracell (obviously) battery pack buddy (Sorry!! :) – Oh Man) . I don’t think we won that game :) …. it was a blur. In all reality at the party I had my back up against the wall on top of a sofa even though there was no threats at the party from behind :), and that is what I told DWTB…. and all those pictures floating around backed up my honesty….wwhheeww kind of, but DWTB had serious wrath capability nonetheless ….turned out Bachelorette almost bailed but they went through with an eventual good marriage… So that was dummy move #2. I swore there would not be a third strike or I would have been out early before getting married or early on thereafter.
h) As far as accentuations of harmless truths (i.e. saying whatever is bigger, worse, faster, slower, grander, etc. vs. reality), yeah a few here and there, but, who hasn’t?
Well, since the Original cut, when this statement and list was generated, there were a few more minor hiccups of untruths that came to mind from way back then. But really though, no need to bring up anything else here… Anyway, this is what I will be taking with me to the Pearly Gates, along with the other ones not mentioned which God already knows about, which I came to terms with Him on :).
Everything else I have said, or stories I told were the complete truth: such as… yes, my sweet Mom kind of helped me grow my first pot plant (watered it a time or two)… but of course she did not know what it was… before I knew it there was my Mom showing her neighbor friends this beautiful plant, with her French accent and everything…. Oh-oh, time to harvest… the next summer, the summer before my hitch hiking trip around the country, I grew 3 rather sizeable pot plants on our bank in our yard (lots of bushes and trees)…but upset could not get them to bud up…. the first girl that I had a quick fling with in CA., is someone I came across, if I recall right, the first or second time at the Jacuzzi in the apartment complex I presently live at now, approximately 33 years ago, …found out the girl was a nun who just got out of the nunnery/convent and she was out to have a little fun, and there I was :). I’m thinking, I must be in California or something :). Yeah, I initially lived in L-101 for about half year there, met my first friend L, who happened to be married to my eventual wife to be, who I met shortly after…. went down and lived at 816 West Oceanfront, on Balboa Peninsula, Newport Beach, on the beach…. Lived there with 3 other guys, L, D, and M (reminded me of the hippie looking character in Doonesbury). D was interesting who had a different girl every night it seems in makeshift 4th bedroom we plumbed up with a single panel for one wall/barrier; those girls would be pretty darn vocal…..one stole our silver ware, which was hardly silver :) …. went to the Mustang Ranch (not the Vegas one :)) till closing time, often mid-week…. But still getting up and driving to work to Douglas Aircraft in Long Beach up PCH … and back each night down PCH….like going back to vacation land…At Douglas, there was like 150 new college hires and a bit of a party was always going on it seemed…. Found out about the “Executive Cafeteria”, and thought for sure we qualify, so I and like 3 or 4 others for like a week went to the cafeteria, had waitresses and everything, great food, great prices, wow what a Life…and to celebrate a couple times coming back to work, I would get a cigar at the company store, bring it back to building 35 or 36 (?) where I worked in a large open bay area, where you could look across and see whoever, far away… I would put my feet up, light up, and smoke that cigar thinking … Life is Good!… My boss JW was the nicest guy, and not sure what he was thinking, but I was informed at week’s end, we really don’t qualify to go to that “Executive Dining Hall”…ooopppsss… sometime thereafter, went to my first job trip to Pensacola, Florida with JW and others, and was staying at this hotel, that ironically had a bar in it known as the “Body Shop” – Sweet! …. Sounded good to me, so the next 4 nights I was there. And I will never forget the last night … well, went back to the room with some gal … woke up late the next morning, and she took my picture … because that previous night or morning hours (?), went searching for those balloons to no avail, and the attitude then was Oh well…I was a real dummy and someone was looking out for me….and continuing, someone knocked at the door, and everyone was there waiting for me, including my manager JW, and so the Girl preceded before me out the door…. Wow did I feel sooo bad, as Nice as my manager JW was…. He turned very red in embarrassment it seemed, or maybe he just wanted to wring my neck (?)….. oh gosh I was thinking… Enough on the stretch of truisms…
All in all though, no matter what I did, I certainly could never do anything to hurt nor harm anyone in any way, other than maybe when you get into those usual/normal dating and emotions issues, but nothing really and if someone was hurt it probably was me more often; there is one exception I do need to bring up though, although I did not hurt someone in the process really. The incident: I had been beating myself up forever, and I actually just brought it up with the individual involved just hours ago from when I originally wrote this part of the manuscript. This person is a dear Friend of mine who lives like 3000 miles away ….she is my childhood friend Brian’s little Sis J, and to me she was always my lil Sis (that’d be that person), which was truly the best way to handle that relationship; she was about (4) years younger. I had to keep that frame of mind because when I got older and when time was creeping toward the end of my College days, she was getting pretty darn hot :)…. Sorry lil Sis J. But the regrettable moment was when I had a College graduation party at our house, and she came up to my room to have a little smoke – Hey that was common thing to all who migrated up to my Party Room without any weird thoughts or anything…. it just had that reputation… and True Schmuck I was at that moment… well I was definitely Buzzed sucking on a Keg mainly, and Pipes, Joints behind the scenes!! I actually hit on her, my lil Sis. Give me a Bat – Bam, Bam, Bam… and that would be well deserved :). I thought, afterwards realizing what I did with a clear mind– what ??? Hitting on my little Sis – How pathetic!… Well, I was clearly not the Adult at that moment, She was!… Thank You lil Sis J, and Thanks for your forgiveness!
As far as harm to non-humans, I had BB guns, and something I am really not proud of, but I did shoot some birds, frogs, a squirrel, a rat (I think), and a woodchuck. When I held up my last kill, I think it was a Baltimore Oriole , I did not like myself and thought I would never hunt in my Life, ever again; I thought how meaningless, and this poor bird… how could I ??? As for Dogs, I do have a soft spot and love for them. I firmly believe Dogs are the most balanced species of all living things on earth including humans no question, possessing the Ideal blend of Intelligence and Instinct. Their typical even keel temperament through their whole Lives day to day is an indicator of this although understandably they are a product of their upbringing and unfortunately, there are people out there that have dogs and shouldn’t. As for us homo sapiens, we possess a much less than an ideal combination of intelligence and Emotions considering all the highs and all the lows from day to day the typical person can go through, and in numbers we are !!??; any argument :)? Continuing on the subject of my hunting skills, I know I could never have been a good hunter. But I do know I’d be a better target though….reminiscent when I blew off the top of my thumb pretty much, when I had “Thumbs up” before hitting the target with a high powered cross bow (like 500 ft/sec type or something) …while fueled by a couple of my home brews and a shot of moonshine, and la, la, la, and watching Sunday afternoon football games in friends E & J’s back yard, and then … almost a Bulls eye !!! … but my thumb ???… Whoa !!!!!
And I was that bad one in the family, if I could be considered bad at all (?) My older Sis, was like a Saintress, and Bro, I don’t think he was too far behind. However, when he did go to college, he was in a Frat, and I am sure some cool things happened that he kept secret. And then I remember seeing him come back from college for the first time; he seemed to be a bit of a hippie on his return. Cool, my Bro’s a Hippie! I was a freshman in high school at that time, and that is the time in Life when I grew up where I went from the supposed perfect child to a bit toward the wilder side. He was sporting a Fro, a Hippie type psychedelic shirt, and a large green plastic Peace sign. That’s it I thought. I wanna be a Hippie :). And I remember when Woodstock came up in NY, in August 69, I really thought I would have liked to have been there, but there is no way I would have been able to go when I was 13. I thought about that even more when bro came home as a bit of a hippie, when I was 14; Gosh Darn!. Always Loved watching Woodstock…..Loved the music, Jimi, Santana, Crosby Stills, Ten Years After (I’m going home – Amazing!), Joe Cocker, etc. Now it has been all Pink Floyd lately (actually with a good mix via Pandora), as I have been writing this manuscript during often strange hours – every CD track in my car is Pink Floyd. I always loved hearing a good guitar player ! Jimi, Johnny Winters, David Gilmore now…I was never musically inclined myself, but my Son got the gene; he is a solid guitar player! I was blown away one time on a farewell outdoor event they had on the last day in middle school when Son was an 8th grader. He got up on stage, for the last or closing act actually, and played his guitar like I have never heard him play before, fast and all over the neck and so creative; it blew me away although I knew I heard that sound before from something/somewhere but it skipped my mind at the time what that was ?? I asked him what he had played. And when he told me it was Jimi’s last solo at Woodstock, Whoa, that was way too cool :) !!!
As for My Mom, if she did not qualify for Sainthood, no one would …And my Dad, was Golden as well, and the ultimate, most responsible Dad ever I thought. So how bad could us 3 get? Obviously, Not! Just a few snippets about Mom/Dad: Mom grew up in Belgium and was pretty/real well off … very educated with a Pharmaceutical degree…my Dad was a French interpreter during the war and in Belgium post D-day … looking for a piano in the area… met the Marganne family who had the piano…my Mom walked down the stairs to see what was going on… and it was the pre-natal stages of Leave it to Beaver II … but before that he came back to the states for like 2 years, I think that is when he got his degree as an Accountant … he went back to Belgium to marry Mom and take her back to the states .. Whoa – her family was not happy about that :)! … Mom was loved by all and they did not want to see her go! And that is how “Leave it to Beaver II” was born :).
Anyway I think by now you realize I may be relatively honest :). So don’t you think I would be telling the God’s honest truth about the contents of this Book? Hope you are saying absolutely, no doubt ….Again, for me, and as could be the case for significant sufferers from A & D out there, what written could be a Life Saver and how could anyone, no matter who they were, lie about something like this !!
Yep, Certainly Is or I should say Was me :),
Ron
"Rise and Shine Anxiety & Depression & Life Management Tools" & "Rise and Shine Parents Self-Help Guide for the Youngins" 