Note: This is an extension of the previous Blog post shown on “Resistances to Change (8/14/18)”  Most of the personal matters shared below are not really covered in the Book.  The Book is strictly about Others to Help them, and only contains snippets of my experiences other than in the Book’s “optional section” 1.2 …. e.g. I was a wanna be hippie growing up :)…

For So Very Long, I was thinking and addressing excuses to myself, and at times to others, not feeling well and all.  For Years, I was thinking Why (?!), and What (!?) is going on, being in denial of what reality was telling me…  This could be Life’s pattern for years for others as it was for me.  And as addressed per my last post (just below this one), it is common as a human, to not want change nor accept the need for change, and to develop all those Resistances to Change often necessary to amend Serious matters.  This negative thinking/behavior can go on and on as we dig our own hole(s) deeper and deeper into abyss(es) of pain we create for ourselves; and we don’t realize what we are doing!

As a Junior and Senior in high school, I was thinking, yeah, I have some things going on but thought, as I get older and wiser, that stuff will go away… thinking I’ll figure it out, and  I’ll be fine, more or less, with quite a bit more of the “less” going on…  I felt like maybe I was a bit different and was confused which I thought was the norm at that age. Then upon graduation, I thought, I am going to college to become an Engineer, so I’ll figure all this out, eventually…  Yeah right :)!… Now I can :),  but Certainly not at the time.

Had similar gyrations and feelings through college, but thought, nothing Serious yet going on, although impossible to figure out.  And as I graduated college and started my job at Douglas Aircraft in Long Beach, CA., I was thinking yeah, all will be ok after all, as I was engaged with a number of things going on with my move across the country, planning and all; sufferers do our best on how we are feeling (relatively speaking only) when we are busy (busy minded).

Just prior to my move from Syracuse, N.Y, to CA., I went to the doctor for a general check-up including a first time blood pressure check. The high blood pressure readings were an indication, things were not right which I just doubted/ignored.  The doctor prescribed me blood pressure medication, and Valium since he sensed something was iffy and thought it could come in handy in my move.  I should have been Hmmm??, at that time but I just thought whatever…

But when things settled down after the move, during those quiescent times/moments, that is when the emotional pains began to escalate, as is usually the case.   I never really felt comfortable within or about myself ,and the feelings of Anxiety (mainly at first), with some Depression then, really began to surface. I kinda sensed then, those earlier in Life thoughts of … I’ll be fine was just wishful thinking going on.  But I did nothing to change course which is often so typical.

As I grew older with more responsibilities, I was feeling worse, much more often than not.  I was feeling So Confused and Troubled and seriously felt like I was just limping from problem to problem, day to day regardless of the extent of the problems going on; before too long the littlest of things seemed to set me off which it does in fact amount to. Had lots of Anticipation Anxiety going on worrying about matters for the next day or future days ahead.    Consequently, had all this Anxiety & Depression going off within me, with no real clue what it really was nor, what to do about it.  If and when we have lots of anxiety going on, that does become very depressing over time.  Resultant negative thinking and body/brain chemistry impacts can become overwhelming. 

Meanwhile, I would always force a smile on the outside, putting on a front, but inside, I was churning, grinding, and dying it felt like…  And I must have been pretty good at that since, other than a Lady Friend/confidant I would talk to, no one knew I was struggling or how bad things really were.  I would often go talk to her about Life and this or that and often say, yeah the blood pressure medication is the reason I am not feeling really good now (who was I kidding?).  I was just creating more stories of Denial, within myself and in what I was saying to her.

And this continued through into marriage, including through the time having a Beautiful Child/ Son in 1990, constantly putting on that smile for the Good Reasons, and for my front, to cover up my insides.  I was always there for my Son even though it was very difficult at times, having to go to meetings and things like that!  I was close to being Agoraphobic at  the time, but forced the issue to press on.  As far as being a Good Spouse in the marriage, I was extremely Responsible, but I was not easy to say the least at times; my wife knew of my growing fragility as the years passed by.

In 1999, I Sadly devised a plan to end my Life. I made an apparatus to stick into my car’s tail pipe and feed into the passenger quarters where I would be when I decided to take that drive.   I did turn myself into a psychiatrist who in-turn had me sent to a Psych ward for like 4-5 days.  From that, I did realize and finally admitted I had Anxiety and Depression for so many years.  But I had Zero trust in the mental health “professionals” as they only seemed to want to medicate me, but did not seem to be able to help me in any other way.  I discuss some of this experience in the Book.  After attempting medication, I hated any thought of it since it just made matters worse for me at the time.

In Late July/2002, I made a Serious U-turn in Life and Finally Accepted Change only upon  listening to the Lady (“My Angel”) I learned from, who was a Major Sufferer as I was. She made Total Sense in what she was saying (Oh My God … THANKS Finally!!!!!), and Just Knew Me (Sufferers) as she was talking on a radio station. She (my Angel!) Saved my Life and, Yes, the Fully Experienced & Educated Individuals (such as I now), are the most Caring, Knowledgeable, and BEST, by a wide margin, in Truly Helping People dealing with A & D Issues or similar vs. the slew of mental health “professionals” I have met in my Life.  I Truly felt I began my Life Then, at age 46,  as I migrated through her program.  But yet I made some big mistakes in the process of learning, being impatient and all and moving way too fast through the process missing a few Key things that caught up with me later in life; I do share those mistakes in the Book since I do not want to see others make them.  But nonetheless I was a Different/Much More Positive Person.  Now though, after doing and getting things Right, I am likely one of the Most Content People one could meet, and that is with a Big :), which matches what is Truly going on inside.

So, to you all, no one needs to go through such struggles and pains in Life as I have gone through, and play those Resistances to Change games.

Take Care All, and Have a Good Day if not a Great Day and :).  And again, if ya just can’t, then Please Seriously consider this and learn the True approach in dealing with all those negative thinking based Issues.  Read on my Friends!

Ron

Human nature is such that People Often do the same thing in Life and expect different results.  And Yes I was going down that path in Life as well…  If I did not Finally TRY something different and Change course (i.e. the Tremendous Program I came across), when I was at Rock Bottom, I would have been a Gonner at age 46, Undoubtedly.  And, Yes this former type behavior of mine was really “insane” by definition.

For those who are suffering out there, it does take Hard Work and Commitment to reap the benefits of Change addressed in this Book. But like everything in Life, in order to get really good at anything, We have to Work Hard at it.  And this Certainly applies to Us, when We Work On Ourselves the Proper Way.

Resistance to Change, is the Biggest Hurdle One has to get past, to Begin and Proceed through the Process of Change.  There are So Many excuses People come up with, preventing them from going through with this Process. Really though, these excuses are really nothing but negative thinking going on.  When I look back at all such mind games I was playing, it was absolutely ridiculous the excuses I made, and besides being in flat out denial about matters. It just does not make sense having this attitude, Knowing Ultimately, the Tremendous Positive Feelings and Relief shedding All those Pains of Anxiety & Depression, Gaining Control of Our Lives (i.e. in One’s Thoughts and Actions), and allowing Us to Aspire and reach Our Full Potential. There Absolutely Can’t Be a Better Feeling!!!   So Why Resist Such Change???

The Key thing about thoughts of Change is to ask Ourselves, what are the benefits of Changing vs. not Changing? I am talking about just How We React to things as it amounts to Mainly… Although if we need to amend or shore up Our Foundation to be Good People, well that is another Focus of Change to strive for being the Basis of Our Positivity! …  The Power and the Benefits when We (consider) Change here, in Gaining Control of Our Lives the Best We Can, and Going way beyond that Actually, should Grossly Outweigh any thoughts of the benefits (?) to not Change, where there really are only negative unreal excuses going on.

Section 6.11 in the Book (Courage to Change) addresses all the resistances to Change We Need to get past to proceed through the Process to Reap the Power in this Book, as We Read it and Work It!  This listing includes “Common Resistances to Change”, and “Secondary Gains” People may have holding onto Their Condition. Blog post link https://riseandshineanxietydepression.net/2019/08/25, includes the section 6.11 in full. 

One Common Resistance to Change is thinking … “that is just the way I am and I can’t change”.  Sorry, but that is So negative and Untrue!  We are All humans here, and We are all wired the same with the same Biological/Physiological make-up.  So when We know How Best To drill down to Our individual negative thoughts and the sources of Our negativity (compliments of the Book), and Deal with All this the Very Best Way, this Personalizes the Process.  That’s why this translates to Everyone!

A common resistance not mentioned in the Book which is likely pertinent to today’s …. got to be Cool mentality, could be just that.  Well, to be Honest (needless to say), it does not seem too Cool while going through the Steps and Process of Change here, but I can Assure You How Literally Cool it is when We get there, with No Better Feeling going on :)!

One of the “Secondary Gains” of not changing, occurs when Suffers are babied or enabled by a Loved One…  And usually the Enabler does not see the down side of what they are doing.  I have a Cousin in upstate NY., who has essentially been locked in his bedroom/ His Mom’s Home, for almost 30  years actually, So afraid of Living Life and refusing to TRY Change so He could Live a Fulfilling Life. Half the reason being, He has been Enabled by His Mom through all the years, and She unfortunately had been equally in denial.  SO VERY SAD! Tough Love at a times like this Is Necessary!  Note: Just got back from my Vacation, and my Aunt (his Mom) passed away when I was up at The Lake :(.  I went to the funeral and when I returned from The Lake a few days after, I went to try to talk to my Cousin to no avail… He would not answer the door. He is in Deep Trouble now and I have tried Everything to coax or convince Him on these matters… SOOO SAD!!!  And his Brother has been homeless for years, and his Sister, appears to have serious Issues as well ::(( …  Fortunately, the (3) older Cousins, closest to my age, are doing Good.

Final note of Interest: Ironically, from what I have witnessed myself, 100% of the time, the Ones that Need to Change & this Book the Most, are the first Ones who run away from it the fastest.  They tend to be the most Defensive or Offensive about it actually when approached.  Unfortunately, Those likely will continue in their ways, not receptive to Change, until maybe when they Hit Rock Bottom. Such Unnecessary Pain!

Something to Think about All, and as Usual, Have a Good Day if not a Great Day and :)! And if Ya can’t, then You have come to the right place…

Author Ron

Facts are:  negative thoughts impact Our brain/body chemistry in a negative way, and Positive thoughts impact Our brain/body chemistry in a Positive way.  Our Well Being (i.e. How Good or Bad We feel), is a function of the Sum of Our negative and Positive thoughts over time.

If We become rather negative, cortisol is produced and starts ripping through Our Body setting Ourselves up with Anxiety, and possibly, Panic Attacks.  Also, with such a negative mindset, serotonin levels diminish over time leading eventually to Depression.  When We become Positive per the Book’s Cognitive/Behavioral Modification Repetitive Training Process, after having prior Issues with negativity, this Normalizes Our brain/body chemistry overtime.  And if We continue to be Positive through Life, It Is Just A Beautiful Feeling :); Nothing is Better than that Feeling!  When We Get That Way, We essentially want to Do Everything, Go Everywhere, and See Everyone, but when We Don’t, Sadly, We Don’t want to, nor may not do anything (to the extent of being Agoraphobic).

Have You heard of the Book called “The Secret” published in 2006?  That is considered the #1 Motivational/”Self-Help” Book having sold over 19,000 copies. Sounds to be a GOOD Book, compliments of Wikipedia. But what I/We Know Now, this is really only considered as such, based on those numbers of copies sold.  It’s popularity was triggered by extensive advertising campaigns surrounding the Book, besides a movie was made from it.  What I understand, the Author dug into the past of Famous People (the Einsteins, the Lincolns, etc.), and they All came to the realization, if We think Positive through Life, Good things are going to happen to Us, based on the “laws of attraction”.  And if We are negative, Good things generally will not be happening.  Yes, No Doubts, this is Accurate!  So the Facts of what gets Us feeling Good or Bad (i.e. Positive vs. those negative thoughts) is shared by both “The Secret” and my Book.

Now the differences: “The Secret” does not address how to be Positive, or How Best to be Positive, nor How Best to change those negative thoughts and mindset to Positive thoughts and mindset, as humans, which is what  my Book is All About.  Big difference…

The Lady I learned from started her “Midwest Center for Anxiety & Depression” business, back in 1983, 23 years prior to when “The Secret” was published.   Of course She and Her chosen Professionals Knew of the Power of Positivity which was the basis of Her Self-Help Program (“Attacking Anxiety & Depression”) which collectively took 16 years to develop and Optimize.  That is what was funneled into my Book using my own words for the most part.  Besides, I was able to add additional Key Elements which can Only Help (Significantly for me!), especially when we fall on the depressive side of the fence in Life; I spent lots of time dealing with the Pains of depression, and fortunately I was So Lucky to have learned a lot from that. So Grateful!

So Negative vs. Positive thinking, is the Basis of this Book with no interesting (that loaded word) philosophy going on like some things I have read in the past. I read or, have to admit, I jumped ahead reading “The Four Agreements” in the last few pages of the Book which are Good, Obviously! But the philosophy, or background (?) leading up to those were (?).  Regarding the Four Agreements though, they are just a small subset of what you get out of This Book, when ya Read It and then Work It, No Doubts…

The other KEY Factor regarding Our Positivity is addressed in my Book’s section 4.  We Have to Have a Strong Foundation (…allowing Our Faith to Grow with age), which is the basis of Our Positivity. When We do things Right with Integrity, etc. in Life, that’s a Positive making us feel Good , and when We do things wrong, that be negative, making us feel Bad.  This be Fact!

Regarding the “laws of attraction” mentioned above, per a video I saw, scholars agree and have identified “Quantum Physics/Mechanics” as the mechanism driving the “laws of attraction”.   And some wonder if there is a God :)??  So Who Designed “Quantum Mechanics” :)?  That’d be God, and YES, I call this Fact!  Hence, that’s just additional and Powerful rationale why a Strong Foundation is the basis of Our Positivity.  Follow the dots and it All makes Clear and Logical sense :).

So when We combine Our Strong Foundation, along with the Book’s Optimum Positivity Tools/Skills Process, We  Really Have Everything to Cope with All things in Life, and Yes, with a :)!

Have a Good Day if not a Great Day and :),

Author Ron

The Common Denominator for those that suffer with Anxiety & Depression, PTSD, Addictions, OCD, Others (?), for the most part, is our negative thinking ways. The more the negative thinking, the more we Suffer! How Best To be Positive and How Best To Change our negative thoughts to Positive Thoughts/Mindset when we are struggling, is the Key to deal with Our problems in Life. This is the game that Each and Every One of Us essentially plays every day of Our Lives.  But even the Average Individual is not doing a real good job with this these days. Why not Know How Best to Really do that (?), which I was fortunate to have come across, Learn, Experience, Grow, and Add (and wrote) More which I captured and provided in my Book’s Final Edition.  Without That, I Certainly Would Not Be Here today…

Aside from some Key Elements that I was able to provide, especially if we fall on the depressive side of the fence, the Core of the Detailed Positivity Tools captured, was formulated by the Lady I learned from (a sufferer like me), over the course of 16 years along with mental health Professionals, that She Knew and She could trust; We just can’t match that on Our Own!

As a Sufferer, to do it Right for Life, it takes a Process… a Cognitive/Behavioral Modification Repetitive Training Process allowing us to change that negative mindset to a Positive mindset.  In Effect it is a Reprogramming Process.  It is on Proven ground, and Believe Me, it Flat Out Works!  Otherwise I would not be here; and that goes for my Son, and Others I have personally seen with Book in Hand Only!  

And, Of Course we need Our #1 Support System to Help and Solidify Matters, Our Well Being, and Our Peace of Mind to Live Comfortably in this imperfect world. That is contained per the Book’s section 4 (Our Faith!, Our Foundation, which is the basis of Our Positivity).

Don’t think I would have gone through 20,100 ish Book cards by now, as I have, handing them out Individually for the most part, unless I felt Exceptionally Strong about this, in my Heart, my Gut, and my Soul.  And my Drive and Passion just continues to Grow (!), Knowing the Truth and Reality of what is Written. Otherwise I would have petered out a long time ago after I published the first Edition (6/19/14).  Seriously don’t believe there could be anything better in a True Self-Help Book on such matters as it  possesses necessary Details and Instructions where appropriate, and Essential for Sufferers…

It seems, People often want that quick fix in Life to resolve their Issues, but there are No quick fixes on How Best to Take Care of Ourselves.  Yes We Have to work Hard on Ourselves… Seriously, take some time to go to the Booksite on a Laptop or sim (click below), and Take Your Time to read through; Not for my benefit by any means, but for the Benefit for You and Your Loved Ones!

Oh, if you go to the Amazon Booksite, do a “look inside” of the Book, and read the “Table of Contents” just after the “Preface”.  This is very descriptive and will let you know the Extensive Coverage of this Book.

This blog, to begin with, is a rather general one.  In successive blogs I will be honing in on specific areas/topics associated with the Book.

Have a Good Day if not a Great Day and :),

Author Ron

Click here If You Desire to Look into more Details or Purchase the Book